Perfect Despite Its Rough Edges

 I'm about to embark on writing a set of full week lessons, but I feel the urge to blog before so here I go.  P.S.  before I begin (actually a p.s. should be at the end but I like drumming to my own beat) I want to give a shout out to Laura's mom.  Thanks for reading about my ridiculous thoughts!

Last week, we started Scattergories.  We break the 140 kids in fourth grade up into different groups to work on Math and Reading.  Math is on Mondays and Tuesdays.  Reading is Wednesdays and Thursdays.  During this time (12-12:30, in between specials and lunch), we go over TAKS practice problems and work on students' writing because they are taking the TAKS writing test this spring.  My math group of students is made up of kids who didn't pass the TAKS test, but passsed between the skin of their teeth the second time.  They struggle immensely with basic skills that should have be learned (ex. they are still using their fingers and toes to find what 8 + 7 is).  The group of kids that I work with in reading, I've been told, are the ones that probably won't pass the TAKS test at all due their differences in learning styles (ie. dyslexia, adhd, etc.)  On Thursday, we discussed the differences with fact or opinion.  After going through some examples, I had them write out their own fact and opinion and share with the group what they wrote and then we would decide whatever statement was a fact or an opinion.  My student couldn't write a full sentence.  The thoughts were just jumbled pictures with letters.  

The one thing that sticks out to me to be the most frustrating part of new part of my day in teaching is the fact that someone didn't take the extra effort with these kids.  I know I might be sounding too nieve; some of them have legit learning problems.  But for the most part, these kids come from backgrounds of being ignored and pushed to the side.  Why would anyone push aside someone's success?

Although it's challenging, it's absolutely perfect despite their rough edges.  My kids were soo excited that I was their teacher during scattergories.  Heath, one of the boys in my reading group, used to be in my 1st period class but now works with the math specialist during my teaching time.  When he came into my class and found out that we would be working together alongside 6 others, he ran over to my group, grabbed the seat next to me, flashed a huge grin and wanted to tell me all about his day and what he had enjoyed most. This is why I love my job.  Seeing the joy in my kids' eyes over the little things.

Okay, time to get started, but I wanted to share one of my crazy kid stories.

On Thursday, we were working on book work in Math.  When one of the kids doesn't understand something, they come up to either Mrs. Mateleska's desk or mine and we work on the problem with them.  During third period, I was helping Robert.  I looked behind him and there were 6 boys lined up behind him; Bryce, Ryan, Preston, Mitchell, Matthew and Andy. Bekah was working with Mrs. Mateleska.  Mrs. Mateleska looks at me and then looks at the boys and says, "Now, boys.  Do you really need help or are you lined up to ask Miss Chambers a question because you think she is pretty?" All of the boys' ears turned bright and they ran back to their seats. haha. 

Ah, to be in 4th grade again. 

Jumbled Thoughts

So I've attempted to do some homework this afternoon slash weekend, but my brain is everywhere. I think it's part of that time of our lives. Trying to figure out what we are going to do after we are handed our diplomas. Personally, I feel like I have taken this huge hunk of life and can barely chew on it let alone swallow it.

It's a whole new level of stress this year. Deciding what career path to take. Then there's trying to figure out how I will support myself. Then there is where am I going to live? Who else is thinking about living there? Am I going on a crazy idea that should be more grounded? What if it doesn't work out the way I have planned it will in my head? Just a handful of things that keep me laying in bed at night.

I have decided to apply for Teaching in Thailand. Part of me wants to chase an adventure. I would love to have the opportunity to teach a foreign country. I feel like it would make me a stronger teacher coming back to states from working with kids that are from a totally different culture from one that I have been accustomed to. Plus, as my dad would say, I can eat all of the Pad Thai I want. (He's a funny one).

Lighter note. My kids rock. I have realized from teaching that being 21, I have lost a part of me that was so genuine. The heart of a kid. My students don't stress out nearly as much as I do. Their biggest concern is "omgosh, Miss Chambers!! My pencil has broken. What do I do now?" or "Miss Chambers! I have run out of room on my sheet of notebook paper! What do I do?" (never dawns on them to simply turn the paper over, haha). They don't pet the small things. They enjoy the moment more. They believe that they are invincible and that they can conquer whatever their heart is set on, from beating everyone in the class in "Around the World" to dominating at Dodge Ball during recess.

Another fabulous aspect of my kids is that there is such a sense of community amongst them. One of my favorite things to do during my day is watching them interact with each other; from working in groups during class to listening to conversations that they carry with each other during lunch. The majority of them have been at Spring Valley since kindergarten so they been in class with each other for the last 5 years. They have such a sense of love for each other. It's so neat. They look past each other differences and just accept each other for who they are. They see each other's strengths and help each person strive to be the best that they can possibly be. And they are only 9!! Incredible little people. I just wish yall could see and experience what I do everyday. It's quite possibly the best thing ever.

Selfish vs. Selfless

Today was completely and utterly a Monday with a capital "M."

It rained today. Most of the time I think "ah, we need the rain because it's been so hot and and things will finally cool off." And plus I absolutely love the scent of rain. It's such a wonderful mixture of clean and refreshness. But today, the teacher inside of me said "crap, it's raining. What the heck am I going to do with my 4th graders?" They didn't get the chance to release their energy from sitting in a desk for the majority of the day so they were stuck with me in the classroom playing board games during recess. It was fun, but I felt completely out of control. It was hard to bring back all of the kids to get them ready for 4th period. P.S. I taught solely today during 4th period and felt like a complete idiot. They were my GT kids (Gifted and Talented) which means they love correcting the teacher.

It's quite an art form, teaching that is. I feel like many people don't fully grasp what it means to be a teacher, especially in the early grades (K-4th). Some people have the notion that we are babysitters, making sure that they color in between the lines and cut out shapes for them for math. But you people out there that are reading this and are believers of the previous statement are clearly mistaken.

Education is one of the most selfless professions to pursue. You climb out of your bubble of your own selfish needs and put a class full of bright eyed students in front. You are constantly working toward success for someone else. You bend over backwards trying to explain knowledge to someone who doesn't understand the way you understand. Believe me, I can't even begin to tell you how many different ways I have learned to teach a simple task like multiplication.

You learn to look past your own selfishness in so many ways. You stay after school to help that kid who doesn't understand their homework. You are a ear to listen to for a kid who is crying because they were chosen last during kickball at recess. You are the answer to all questions, regardless if you are 100% confident behind your answer or not. You are a role model for students who come from a rocky family life. You build a relationship of trust and love for each student, regardless if they are the brightest kid in your class or the one who is in the back row not paying attention at all.

But with all this venting, I couldn't see myself doing anything else. I know that my heart is in the right place. Now it is just a matter of finding the location of where I will take my dream.

J'Adore La Clase De Quatre

Since I never see anyone these days, I am going to keep writing on my blog so if you are interested, you can read bits and pieces of what I am up to.  It's pretty rad.

Tonight I had my ESL class.  It's really interesting.  Goodness in a class for sure, kind of how my Social Issues in Education class was last Spring.  For the class, we have to tutor through the LEAF program with children who don't have English as their first language.  I feel like this will give me an opportunity to get my feet wet in teaching non-english speaking children and seeing if I am a fit for this type of teaching style. 

Also today, I tried to jot down all of my students' names to see if I knew them all.  We are having Parent Night next Thursday and I will be mortified if one of my students runs up to me to introduce me to their parents and I have no idea what their first name is.  In case, you didn't know, I only teach Math this fall.  Instead of having just one class, I have four. My students names include:

Xavier, Jaslynn, Andy, Austin, Lance, Abby, Katelyn, Lauren, Eddie, Sean, Kylah, Jailene, Iris, Hallie, Marc, Erin, Garreth, Anna, Ethan, Matthew, Garrett, Tyler, Eve, Emaleigh, Paxton, Zack, Teddy, Jayda, Desiree, RJ, Casey, Corey, Heath, Becca, Megan, Samantha, Emily, Ethan, Eric, Ryan, Bryce, Robert, Gage, Areon, Nathan, Joseph, Daniel, Rachael, Lauren, Amy, Gillian, Kenzie, Callie, Hannah, Ailyn, Travis, Paul, Hannah, Mitchell, Matthew, Preston, Alex, Kat, Fallyn, Abida, Mackenna, Daniel, Matthew and Ryan.

I know I'm forgetting 6 names and it's driving me nuts who I am forgetting. 

They are funny.  My fourth graders.  It's so fun.  Teaching that is.  Everyday I get a joke told to me by Teddy from The Joke Book that he carries around, I have a hold my breath contest with Sean to see who can hold their breath longer, Abby tells me about her ballet classes, Paxton shows me his very best "monkey" face, Austin has a new idea of what he wants to be for Halloween... the list can go on an on because although it may look like a long list of names, each one of them have a unique personality that helps me the teacher learn their names faster.  I adore them.  They make life more fun.

What Blows...

Getting sick for teaching my ridiculous 4th graders.  A handful have been sneezing and blowing their noses since the beginning of school. Of course, none of that goes into consideration when they come at me with arms open for big hugs and passing pencils back and forth when I'm trying to explain a math method in a different way. And here I am with a running nose and sneezing constantly.  But it's okay.  I will just have an amazing immune system by the end of the year. 

P.S.  4th graders are scandalous.  One of my students made a "That's What She Said" comment during writing/spelling class.  No 9 year old should understand the connotation behind "that's what she said."

P.P.S.  One of my kids threw up today.  It was for a time one of my biggest fears about teaching.  Having one of my kids throw up in class. Luckily she grabbed the trash can just in time.  And ran down the hall with the trash can wrapped in her arms to the nurse.  The fear is now gone. Whew.  I'm should be called "FearLESS Miss Chambers." haha jk.  There still is a long list of questions slash events that I've afraid of a student asking me like...

1.  Why does my friend have two daddies/two mommies?

2.  One of my kids getting a huge gash in their arm and bleeding badly

3.  Where do you go when you die? (The only reason that I'm adding this question to my list is it is such a touchy subject to talk about in public schools.)

It's only been a week, but I have already learned so much about teaching especially with situations that I have never experienced before until now.  Everything that I have learned only makes me love what my future holds even more.