Over halfway there

I have completed nine weeks of teaching for my internship year.  From day one, I feel like I have been on a roller coaster.  I had no idea what to expect what it was going to be like, teaching all day.  My brain feels like it's bursting with knowledge which is interesting because I don't have textbooks to read and study.  It's all just what I do day in and day out.  I've learned more than I ever imagined when I got my placement in August.  I have a list of ideas of what I am going to do when I have my own classroom in less than a year. Wow, wrap your mind around that.  In less than a year, I will be in full control of what students' success will be. Nervous? Absolutely. Excited? 110%. Ready? Almost, but not quite.

I have fallen in love with 4th grade.  I could totally see myself being a 4th grade teacher one day.  I love the fact that you can be sarcastic with your students.  And I love how they can carry a normal conversation with you. It's great.  They are so fun.  They make my day everyday.  It's never a dull moment when I go to school in the morning.  The constant questions that I get are "Are you married?" and "Do you have a boyfriend?" I feel like I have single plastered on my forehead because my roommates have significant others,  but apparently to them, I seem like I'm not.  

Students still get crushes on their teachers.  Kristina, my partner in crime in 4th grade, is Miss Pretty to Matthew O'Bryant and I'm the future Mrs. Calhoun to Andy.  They still give out cooties shots, which is one of my favorite parts of recess.  The girls distributing cooties shots while my boys are playing football. 

One of the neatest things that I have learned from me is how they still believe in loving people for who they are.  They are the age before people begin poking fun at others for their differences or call out on imperfections.  They love each other deep down and it's soo refreshing.  I think that's why I'm drawn to my career.  

Okay, I've got to start grading my stack of papers.  4 homework assignments for each student times 80 students, then dividing each group of papers for every students by 4 to get an average homework grade for the week, plus alphabetizing them to transport the information into the grade book is my first activity of the weekend.  I have two sticky notes in my planner of things I have to get done.  Stressful but I still love it. Alot.

Oh I wish I were a punk rocker with Flowers in my hair

Tis the end of Fall Break Day slash weekend.  Elise, Rach, Tins and I went to New Orleans for Fall Break.  It was incredible.  I have never laughed so hard in the last 72 hours in my life.  And that's a bold statement because laughter tends to fall out of my mouth fairly easily.  (side note. Laura, we talked about you constantly. We would listen to your song that you have on burned CD's floating around our apartment so it was like you were with us. :) ) Tinsley's parents took us around New Orleans.  We went to various coffee shops, boutiques, watched Sex and The City (we don't have television/cable so it was a big deal for us), piled in the Whole Foods bathroom together because we are ridiculous and can't wait our turns when it is a one person bathroom, thrift stores,  Bourbon Street, ate an amazing meal at Tinsley's brother's house.  It was perfect.  It was exactly what we all needed.    

Nothing beat though, the four of us running through the airport because we were late constantly. bahaha. At one point, we had lost Rachael and Elise was in a wheelchair because her knee so an airport worker came up to us and told us to climb aboard her the bus thing that takes you from one place to another. Tinsley, Elise and I piled on with our driver lady to go on search of Rachael and long behold, we found Rachael walking out of the restroom.  The driver goes "Rachael! Jump on!" It was funny.  Then we had to race over to the terminal because we were the last ones to board (we lost track of time while eating scones from Starbucks, although we had a bag of them that Tinsley's mom made us).  

I love them. My roommates. They are pretty incredible.  They make life so much more enjoyable. 

Fall is Approaching

So it's been forever and a day (maybe more than a day) since I have written on my blog. I have begun full teaching, which is mix of nerves, patience, creativity and agility (or lack there of). Every time that I stand in front of my students and I teach, I feel like a total rookie. I hear myself giving directions and instructing a lesson and at the same time, I'm thinking "man, this could totally be better if I did (insert new and improved idea). But that's what an internship is all about, right? I have learned more this year than I have learned in my previous three years. Intern year has really broken me apart and made me get out of my comfort zone. I am doing things that I never imagined myself doing which is really neat. Maybe I am cut out to be a teacher.

Since I only have one night class, I have some free time every now and then. I am reading The Witch of Portobello. Laura recommended it to me. I'm really enjoying it. There is one particular quote that has really stuck out to me. It is:

"Dance until you are so out of breath than your body is forced to obtain oxygen some other way, and it is that, in the end, that will cause you to lose your identity and your relationship with space and time. Dance only to the sound of percussion; repeat the process every day; knowing that, at a certain moment, your eyes will, quite naturally, close, and you will begin to see a light that comes from within, a light that answers your questions and develops your hidden powers."

Back in the day I danced. And in ways, I wish I could drop everything and go and audition for companies across the nation, have leading roles in Swan Lake and Giselle and travel to the Paris Opera House and dance in front of thousands of people. It's still one of my dreams. To dance in some shape of form. I've had the dream since I was a little kid and I feel in ways, the dreams that you had as a kid are never let go.

Perfect Despite Its Rough Edges

 I'm about to embark on writing a set of full week lessons, but I feel the urge to blog before so here I go.  P.S.  before I begin (actually a p.s. should be at the end but I like drumming to my own beat) I want to give a shout out to Laura's mom.  Thanks for reading about my ridiculous thoughts!

Last week, we started Scattergories.  We break the 140 kids in fourth grade up into different groups to work on Math and Reading.  Math is on Mondays and Tuesdays.  Reading is Wednesdays and Thursdays.  During this time (12-12:30, in between specials and lunch), we go over TAKS practice problems and work on students' writing because they are taking the TAKS writing test this spring.  My math group of students is made up of kids who didn't pass the TAKS test, but passsed between the skin of their teeth the second time.  They struggle immensely with basic skills that should have be learned (ex. they are still using their fingers and toes to find what 8 + 7 is).  The group of kids that I work with in reading, I've been told, are the ones that probably won't pass the TAKS test at all due their differences in learning styles (ie. dyslexia, adhd, etc.)  On Thursday, we discussed the differences with fact or opinion.  After going through some examples, I had them write out their own fact and opinion and share with the group what they wrote and then we would decide whatever statement was a fact or an opinion.  My student couldn't write a full sentence.  The thoughts were just jumbled pictures with letters.  

The one thing that sticks out to me to be the most frustrating part of new part of my day in teaching is the fact that someone didn't take the extra effort with these kids.  I know I might be sounding too nieve; some of them have legit learning problems.  But for the most part, these kids come from backgrounds of being ignored and pushed to the side.  Why would anyone push aside someone's success?

Although it's challenging, it's absolutely perfect despite their rough edges.  My kids were soo excited that I was their teacher during scattergories.  Heath, one of the boys in my reading group, used to be in my 1st period class but now works with the math specialist during my teaching time.  When he came into my class and found out that we would be working together alongside 6 others, he ran over to my group, grabbed the seat next to me, flashed a huge grin and wanted to tell me all about his day and what he had enjoyed most. This is why I love my job.  Seeing the joy in my kids' eyes over the little things.

Okay, time to get started, but I wanted to share one of my crazy kid stories.

On Thursday, we were working on book work in Math.  When one of the kids doesn't understand something, they come up to either Mrs. Mateleska's desk or mine and we work on the problem with them.  During third period, I was helping Robert.  I looked behind him and there were 6 boys lined up behind him; Bryce, Ryan, Preston, Mitchell, Matthew and Andy. Bekah was working with Mrs. Mateleska.  Mrs. Mateleska looks at me and then looks at the boys and says, "Now, boys.  Do you really need help or are you lined up to ask Miss Chambers a question because you think she is pretty?" All of the boys' ears turned bright and they ran back to their seats. haha. 

Ah, to be in 4th grade again. 

Jumbled Thoughts

So I've attempted to do some homework this afternoon slash weekend, but my brain is everywhere. I think it's part of that time of our lives. Trying to figure out what we are going to do after we are handed our diplomas. Personally, I feel like I have taken this huge hunk of life and can barely chew on it let alone swallow it.

It's a whole new level of stress this year. Deciding what career path to take. Then there's trying to figure out how I will support myself. Then there is where am I going to live? Who else is thinking about living there? Am I going on a crazy idea that should be more grounded? What if it doesn't work out the way I have planned it will in my head? Just a handful of things that keep me laying in bed at night.

I have decided to apply for Teaching in Thailand. Part of me wants to chase an adventure. I would love to have the opportunity to teach a foreign country. I feel like it would make me a stronger teacher coming back to states from working with kids that are from a totally different culture from one that I have been accustomed to. Plus, as my dad would say, I can eat all of the Pad Thai I want. (He's a funny one).

Lighter note. My kids rock. I have realized from teaching that being 21, I have lost a part of me that was so genuine. The heart of a kid. My students don't stress out nearly as much as I do. Their biggest concern is "omgosh, Miss Chambers!! My pencil has broken. What do I do now?" or "Miss Chambers! I have run out of room on my sheet of notebook paper! What do I do?" (never dawns on them to simply turn the paper over, haha). They don't pet the small things. They enjoy the moment more. They believe that they are invincible and that they can conquer whatever their heart is set on, from beating everyone in the class in "Around the World" to dominating at Dodge Ball during recess.

Another fabulous aspect of my kids is that there is such a sense of community amongst them. One of my favorite things to do during my day is watching them interact with each other; from working in groups during class to listening to conversations that they carry with each other during lunch. The majority of them have been at Spring Valley since kindergarten so they been in class with each other for the last 5 years. They have such a sense of love for each other. It's so neat. They look past each other differences and just accept each other for who they are. They see each other's strengths and help each person strive to be the best that they can possibly be. And they are only 9!! Incredible little people. I just wish yall could see and experience what I do everyday. It's quite possibly the best thing ever.

Selfish vs. Selfless

Today was completely and utterly a Monday with a capital "M."

It rained today. Most of the time I think "ah, we need the rain because it's been so hot and and things will finally cool off." And plus I absolutely love the scent of rain. It's such a wonderful mixture of clean and refreshness. But today, the teacher inside of me said "crap, it's raining. What the heck am I going to do with my 4th graders?" They didn't get the chance to release their energy from sitting in a desk for the majority of the day so they were stuck with me in the classroom playing board games during recess. It was fun, but I felt completely out of control. It was hard to bring back all of the kids to get them ready for 4th period. P.S. I taught solely today during 4th period and felt like a complete idiot. They were my GT kids (Gifted and Talented) which means they love correcting the teacher.

It's quite an art form, teaching that is. I feel like many people don't fully grasp what it means to be a teacher, especially in the early grades (K-4th). Some people have the notion that we are babysitters, making sure that they color in between the lines and cut out shapes for them for math. But you people out there that are reading this and are believers of the previous statement are clearly mistaken.

Education is one of the most selfless professions to pursue. You climb out of your bubble of your own selfish needs and put a class full of bright eyed students in front. You are constantly working toward success for someone else. You bend over backwards trying to explain knowledge to someone who doesn't understand the way you understand. Believe me, I can't even begin to tell you how many different ways I have learned to teach a simple task like multiplication.

You learn to look past your own selfishness in so many ways. You stay after school to help that kid who doesn't understand their homework. You are a ear to listen to for a kid who is crying because they were chosen last during kickball at recess. You are the answer to all questions, regardless if you are 100% confident behind your answer or not. You are a role model for students who come from a rocky family life. You build a relationship of trust and love for each student, regardless if they are the brightest kid in your class or the one who is in the back row not paying attention at all.

But with all this venting, I couldn't see myself doing anything else. I know that my heart is in the right place. Now it is just a matter of finding the location of where I will take my dream.

J'Adore La Clase De Quatre

Since I never see anyone these days, I am going to keep writing on my blog so if you are interested, you can read bits and pieces of what I am up to.  It's pretty rad.

Tonight I had my ESL class.  It's really interesting.  Goodness in a class for sure, kind of how my Social Issues in Education class was last Spring.  For the class, we have to tutor through the LEAF program with children who don't have English as their first language.  I feel like this will give me an opportunity to get my feet wet in teaching non-english speaking children and seeing if I am a fit for this type of teaching style. 

Also today, I tried to jot down all of my students' names to see if I knew them all.  We are having Parent Night next Thursday and I will be mortified if one of my students runs up to me to introduce me to their parents and I have no idea what their first name is.  In case, you didn't know, I only teach Math this fall.  Instead of having just one class, I have four. My students names include:

Xavier, Jaslynn, Andy, Austin, Lance, Abby, Katelyn, Lauren, Eddie, Sean, Kylah, Jailene, Iris, Hallie, Marc, Erin, Garreth, Anna, Ethan, Matthew, Garrett, Tyler, Eve, Emaleigh, Paxton, Zack, Teddy, Jayda, Desiree, RJ, Casey, Corey, Heath, Becca, Megan, Samantha, Emily, Ethan, Eric, Ryan, Bryce, Robert, Gage, Areon, Nathan, Joseph, Daniel, Rachael, Lauren, Amy, Gillian, Kenzie, Callie, Hannah, Ailyn, Travis, Paul, Hannah, Mitchell, Matthew, Preston, Alex, Kat, Fallyn, Abida, Mackenna, Daniel, Matthew and Ryan.

I know I'm forgetting 6 names and it's driving me nuts who I am forgetting. 

They are funny.  My fourth graders.  It's so fun.  Teaching that is.  Everyday I get a joke told to me by Teddy from The Joke Book that he carries around, I have a hold my breath contest with Sean to see who can hold their breath longer, Abby tells me about her ballet classes, Paxton shows me his very best "monkey" face, Austin has a new idea of what he wants to be for Halloween... the list can go on an on because although it may look like a long list of names, each one of them have a unique personality that helps me the teacher learn their names faster.  I adore them.  They make life more fun.